Wednesday, February 16, 2005

SRSC (Student Recreational Sports Center)

My favorite place on campus is by far the SRSC. It’s my nirvana, my heaven, my escape, my reality, oh my there are cute boys here! Anyway, I make my way to the SRSC, religiously about 4 – 5 days per week. During my years at IU, my body has been routinely exposed, exhausted and excruciated by Kickboxing, Pilates, Spinning and a general routine work out program of weights and cardio. After gaining the freshman 15, I took on a personal trainer my spring semester freshman year, which unfortunately pumped me up so big I started talking with an Austrian accent, “Hava la vista baby!” After that, I did a lot of reading on exercise, changed my eating habits, and began a serious work out regimen on my own. I have been addicted to working out ever since. I love it! I feel better than ever! I look better than ever! I’m so into my workout I recently booted out one of the hottest guys on campus who was about to put his brand new Nike running shoe on my #12 treadmill, when it was obviously my turn from the signup sheet and not his. Don’t mess with me and my #12 treadmill stud you! He sheepishly backed off.

My treadmill time is the first thing I take care of when I arrive at the SRSC. I sign up for two spots so that my invisible friend and I can be sure to get the “extra time” we need to run for at least 30 minutes. Right now, I’m running up to about 4.5 miles per session. Wow, you say? How do I do it, you ask? Well it’s all about concentration. I’ll let you in on a little secret. And the next time you see a lineup of 10 girls running like they are being chased on their treadmill, you’ll ask yourself I wonder if they are thinking about that too. Trust me, they are not thinking about homework, or about food, or about class, or about family or good friends, or about how great they’re going to look by working out, or even about buying those fabulous new pair of shoes. What gives me my 5.0 mile inspiration is concentrating on my horrific past relationships and other jerks I’ve dealt with throughout my life. These thoughts empower women to be tough, be strong, be mad and get passed the hurt, and I don’t mean the hurt that your ankles are feeling by running so much. Like Christina sings, “Thanks for making me a fighter”, cause when I’m on that treadmill I am fired up like…well, like did you ever watch Cape Fear with Deniro playing Max Cady? And remember when Cady was doing that extreme workout in his cell? Yeah, like that! So now here’s some advice for the men. When you see an attractive girl getting off the treadmill after an extreme work out, trust me, that is NOT the time to flirt with her. Stay clear! She has just set up all her ex’s like bowling pins and got a STRIKE!

No matter how many complaints people have about our beautiful SRSC, my main gripe is not only the lack of treadmills available and spinning classes that fill up too quick, but first and foremost with parking. It irks me that I am paying out of state fees of $25,000 per year to attend this fine institution, plus the normal athletic fees to use the SRSC, plus an annual fee for my “E“ lot pass, but I am also fined every time my work out goes over a two hour parking limit. This is the most ridiculous rule I know! I’m a maniac ok? My usual workout lasts two hours. If I have to wait for a treadmill I am surely going to run over my parking limit outside. This school is so money hungry it’s ridiculous. Last week, I was fined $1.50 for coming out of the SRSC 15 minutes late. I don’t carry money on me when I work out since there has been a known theft problem at the SRSC. Not only are there thieves inside the SRSC but obviously the people working the outside parking lot are there to “steal” your money as well. The parking attendant saw my face contorting and turning to a greenish hulk-like color with steam shooting out my ears and proceeded to give me the phone number of someone to contact since I was obviously ready to explode. Trying to compose myself, I called the number she gave me to find a man who could only recommend that I get involved with the IUSA Board and change the rules. That’s funny, since when did the IUSA Board care about anything but lowering the price of a keg in Bloomington?


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