Saturday, July 14, 2007

The European Invasion

My first date with was with a European - a German. He was very handsome by his picture on Match and we corresponded via a few emails. Since his ad stated that he was relatively new to the area and was interested in making new friends, I figured it might be worthwhile to meet. I agreed to meet him for a drink at a local Hoboken bar/restaurant. As I entered the bar area, it took us but a few seconds to recognize each other. Yes, he was handsome…like his picture. His accent was scrumptiously foreign. He worked in Finance so I ruled out serial killer right away. I figured there was more chance of him boring me to death than anything else. Anyway, after those initial introductions and short stories of what we do and where we have been, I excused myself for a quick trip to the ladies room. When I returned back into the dining area I saw my date, giving his phone number to some sleazy girl who was standing at the bar alone flirting with him. Ugh, what a jerk! This guy was obviously obsessed with himself. I knew I should have left right then, but his excuse was that the girl was from the same town he used to live in. I knew he was a liar, but I stayed nonetheless. After a couple more drinks, I began pretending to intently listen to him talk about himself. In reality, I could not help but continue staring at his very, very nice lips. Cosmos make me do that. Anyway, after a while of watching him talk, I announced I had to get going. He asked if he could walk me home and I innocently smiled and accepted the chivalry. Now here is where Tara gets really foolish. As we arrived at my apartment, he kissed me for a short bit and then asked if he could come in for a drink of water. Now remember, they were some really nice lips, and I had just spent a good hour staring at them so with hesitation (ok very little hesitation) I said ok and allowed him in. Yeah, I know… I tend to take on the philosophy of Anne Frank way too often when she said, "In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart." Wait a minute…Anne Frank was taken prisoner by the Germans! And there was certainly no secret annex behind any bookcases in my apartment for me to hide. To make matters worse, my guy roommate at the time was away on business so basically in order for me to defend myself I would have to rely on a good swift knee to the groin or to face scratching and clawing of my newly painted nails. Anyway, he did have nice lips…and those Cosmos were working overtime. We went up to my apartment. Once inside, followed by a quick drink of water, we began to make out on the couch. That is, until my European date unzipped his pants and wanted me to "say hello to his friend”. Yes, that is what he said. I skillfully managed to get him and “his friend” out of my apartment as fast and direct as I could. Closing the door behind him, I swore that I would never again fall for the “glass of water” trick nor will I fall for another nice set of European lips for a very long time. Next!


  • At 8:49 AM, Blogger Abby said…

    Poking around facebook, I saw your page and due to the lack of office excitement in the summer, decided to take a read. love your blog! it is hilarious! you should write a chic fic book!


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