OREO

A couple of weeks ago I moved to another apartment in Hoboken. I have a new roommate who owns a cat. Yes, as you can imagine, this is a major milestone for me. I am sharing quarters with an animal. He’s cute though…all 18 pounds of him. Oreo is my roommate’s very overweight black and white cat. He’s what they call a lap cat or because of his color and markings - a tuxedo cat. Sometimes I look at him and want to break out into a song from Phantom of the Opera since his face is half black and half white. Get it? Oreo spends all day alone in the apartment but as soon as either Danielle or I come home he’s both ready to (1) eat and (2) receive our utmost attention and adoration. Don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t jump up and down when we walk in the door…he’s too fat to get all hyper about it. His approach to showing utter happiness that someone is home is to just kind of rub up against you for 10 minutes straight and then follow you wherever you go. He’ll watch everything you do and is, of course, very curious by nature. Last night with my roommate gone, Oreo and I nestled up on the couch and watched a movie together. Oreo situated his huge self on my lap as if it was his rightly place and then quickly fell sound asleep. Total contentment! And right about now you’re thinking, “Tara, you are so sadly pathetic!” Me - “neat-obsessor” partnered with a “somewhat-shedding, horribly obese” cat.…on the couch…together. Yeah, I know…it’s crazy, but I call him “my buddy” and we’ve bonded. At least I’ll have company for Valentine’s Day this year. I’ll pop open a nice bottle of wine for myself ….then fill his bowl with “dry food”. What a night! Spending Valentines Day on the couch with Oreo watching…um…The Adventures of Milo and Otis! Actually, we could watch a total chick flick and Oreo wouldn’t care! I don’t know, maybe I should contact E-Harmony and try dating again. My roommate isn’t dating anyone and when I suggested we join a speed dating club she just said she wasn’t interested in dating right now. Great! We’re like two spinsters with a cat!...(my ultimate nightmare!)

Since Oreo needs exercise, I do attempt to play with him. He has a line up of toys but playtime only lasts about two minutes per session. He gets tired and loses interest. What? Cats don’t fetch? Oh, that’s right…dogs fetch. Cats like to attack anything that is dangling by a string…kind of like fish! Poor Oreo. My roommate cannot say “no” to him, so she feeds him more than she should.

For as cute and quiet as he is nonetheless, Oreo is band from my bedroom. I actually purchased a child lock so that he can’t open my bedroom door. Don’t laugh…he opens doors. No silly, not the door to the apartment, just the inside doors. No intruders and no cats allowed in my room. My room is my sanctuary…my nest…my sacred perch. I’m kind of like Tweety bird in her cage! Yep that’s me… “I taught I taw a puddy cat!” I did! I did! Yes, he’s outside my door, dying to come in.

Oreo is terrified of the vacuum cleaner, however, vacuuming is one of those cleaning routines I faithfully keep up with. One afternoon Oreo snuck into my room and ran directly under my bed. He knew he was in the forbidden zone. With quick thinking, I immediately turned on the vacuum and he bolted out of my room - fastest I’ve ever seen that cat move!

How many lives do cats have again?