Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Ch-Ch Changes

The truth of the matter is people change. I’ve changed. Or have I? I know I came to college to learn, become responsible, have fun, experience life, freedom, and ultimately grow up, mature and learn to survive living on my own. Raised and nurtured in the safety and warmth of a loving family, I feel I have achieved my independence while gaining a true appreciation of those things that are really important. I am now ready to move on to the next chapter of my life. To find success, find happiness and maybe even someday find true love. With 101 days till graduation, I’m beginning to ask the question, “Has the IU experience changed me for the best?” My answer, yes. Oh some may say, “Whew, whatever happened to that dear sweet Tara I used to know in high school?” Well, that dear sweet Tara has now undergone the total IU college experience and she’s learned that in order to survive, you have to: (1) Do what’s best for you, (2) Believe that it’s not absolutely necessary to please everyone all the time, (3) Realize your family is truly who really matter in your life and who care about you the most, and (4) hard work and the ability to schmooze are the absolute keys to achieving success in college and in finding a career for yourself.

So what else have I learned? I’ve learned to cook. I’ve learned to keep a checking account and pay my bills. I’ve learned the importance of being on time. I’ve learned the importance of car tune-ups and the importance of applying for scholarships. I’ve learned you can’t force yourself or others to have feelings that just aren’t there. I’ve learned that speaking up and reporting someone cannot only help you keep your sanity, but help you maintain a good night’s sleep. I’ve learned that drinking and dating are as dangerous as drinking and driving. I’ve learned what makes me laugh as well as how to cope emotionally with having tons of work to do.

Yet has the Real me changed?…The real down-deep-inside me? A little, yes. I’m less needy, less rigid, and less gullible. By gaining knowledge, wisdom, and experience, I’ve learned two’s company and three’s a crowd. I’ve learned love pains the soul, but can’t possibly destroy it. I’ve learned that lovers can’t be friends, but another female can be your soul mate. I’ve learned that love, most definitely, changes everything.

What’s different? How else have I changed? Well, I don’t feel the need to turn on the “ditsy” anymore, which was once thought of as oh so cute. (Well, maybe on that rare occasion when I play miniature golf with a man. I turn on the “the ditsy” in order to heroically enable a guy to come up from behind me, wrap his big strong arms around both me and my golf club all so that I can be skillfully taught the fine art of precise aim. Yes, those wonderful strong arms covering mine as we gently stroke that cute little colored ball ever so carefully right into that cute little Astroturf covered cup. Yep, friends, that’s the “ditsy”! And my oh my how well “the ditsy” works!).

Well, am I harder-edged, tougher, and at times, hostile…Yes. Do I still cry?...not so much anymore. When I move to New York, will I vote for Hillary Clinton? No….Will I vote for Carmine Giovinazzo winning a People’s Choice Award? Yes. If I get invited to The People’s Choice Awards, will I throw myself at Carmine Giovinazzo and start making out with him? Yes. Do I still insist on only wearing MAC makeup products?...No. Will I save money and actually buy clothes at Target?...Yes. Will I use coupons at the grocery store?….Yes. Do looks really matter?...No. Do I still only date guys with dark hair?...No. Do I still take two hours to get ready on a Saturday night to go out?…well, Yes…Geez what do you want, miracles? The transformation of Tara is still a work in progress.


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