Monday, September 03, 2007

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your dogs

A daily activity that takes place within the majority of Hoboken households is walking the dog. There are no doubt more dogs living in Hoboken than there are kids. Therefore, do not be surprised if you visit here that you have the need to clean the bottom of your shoes at least twice or decide to just throw them out. Now I'll admit Hoboken has stepped up the fines when not picking up after your dog. The new fine is $100. But who is it that will be reporting neglectful doggy owners to "rub their noses in it" and make them pay the fine? So, what are they now taking doggy DNA so they can prove who left the mess? It took me three months of living here to realize why people say New Yorkers never say hello on the street…..It is because they are all looking down to make sure they do not step in the indiscretions of some bulldog, boxer or Bearnese Mountain Dog.

No, I do not have a dog. My landlord forbids it. In fact, he hates dogs so much that he takes a spray bottle full of undiluted ammonia and sprays the telephone poll outside the apartment. Then he sits there on the stoop and watches the dogs go by the pole without stopping. Mr. M is so funny. He gets the biggest kick out of it.

I have noticed that an incredible amount of good looking guys in Hoboken have dogs. So much so that I have often thought that having a dog would be a great way to meet men in this town. Just lend me your dog for an hour or so per night and I'll take it for a trip to the local doggy hang out or cute guy hang out, Sinatra Park. How sexy would it be for me to be spending a good 20 minutes discussing puppies with some hot Lab owner until suddenly I realize I have to whip out the plastic bag in my bag pocket to pick up my poodle's poopy mess. Oh forget it! Definitely not sexy!


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