Ring Ring

A drunk dialer called me a few weeks ago. He’s actually a friend who had no clue who he was calling from his cell phone. I laughed till I almost peed when once he figured out who he had called he then began repeating not only the story lines to all my blogs but knew my blog site name off the top of his drunken head. Gee, I’m flattered. Maybe I have a subscriber list by now. Other friends have told me they read it on a regular basis and get a kick out of it. My drunk dialer described it as “hysterical but mean!” Honey, all I can say is I’ve been restrained from saying what I think for years. I’ve held back because I was always too worried about being well-liked and accepted. Now…eh! Don’t get me wrong, I am still that nice girl you remember. A nice girl who is finally secure enough to say what she thinks. If you don’t like it, read Dr. Seuss!

For instance, if you disagree with my opinions of men from the mid-west, (see March blog) then prove me wrong. If you think you’re all so perfect then I dare you to…to… fall in love with me…yeah, you see…crawl back and hide like usual. Ha! Actually, I think you guys need some toughening up or maybe it’s actually softening up. Maybe I need to contact “Queer Eye for the Mid-Western Guys”. Actually, it’s not the way you guys dress here or even your chivalry and manners that need help. I’ve had more doors open for me here than in Jersey. In Jersey you get, “Just move all that crap out of the passenger seat when you get in”. I don’t know, maybe Dr. Phil would be a better “fix it” here. He even has a southern accent so I know you’d all like that. Oh, stop being so defensive! I’m just messing with you…NOT! OK, I’ll stop. (Wow that felt good!)

Anyway, thank you for reading my blog…whoever you are. If you’re my friends, I can only say keep reading, laugh without feeling offended, and realize I am writing this for my own therapeutic needs. (That sounds good). See ya!