Big Dog, Little, Dog, Stone or Brick

When a relationship begins, everything is wonderful. It seems like everything you do together is surrounded by kissing and hugging. For example, at our most recent trip to the driving range, Big drives the golf ball first, and then we give each other a kiss; then I take a drive and then he hugs me and kisses my forehead, etc. etc. etc. We’re kind of disgusting to watch actually. Basically, we can’t get enough of each other. This goes on wherever we go. Trust me, you don’t want to know about our recent behavior in the Linens N Things Sheets and pillow cases aisle!

For as much as Big and I get along and have fun together, our new found love for each other does display its differences. Differences that insist we need to practice the art of compromise. Big can watch every sport known to man on TV all day. For instance, the idea of watching NASCAR, is enough to make me…well, become ill. I said to him, “Do we really have to watch this?” Big’s reply “It’s NASCAR…it’s great!” I just looked at him. Finally, he picked up the remote and began ever so slowly flicking through the channels. “Stop!” I said, “There’s Bruce Willis, let’s watch this! See, how nicely we can compromise”. Why do I have a feeling he’ll start limiting which nights I come over.

Despite the little idiosyncrasies, we are seeking to build a life together. We talk about our future all the time; getting married, moving out of Hoboken, having children, getting a dog…Whoa! Wait a minute!…Stop right there! Issue! Big wants a dog for protection, like a Rottweiler or a German shepherd. I want a Pug, a Shih-Tzu or a Yorkie you know, the kind that wears little pink bows in their hair. He laughs at me and says, “What if we need protection?” I said, “You are my protection!” He says, “What about when you’re home alone and I go to work. I said “It’s called a security alarm!” We might have a major issue here, especially since he assures me his big dog will eat my little dog.

While driving around North Jersey this past weekend, Big and I saw some very nice neighborhoods. Neighborhoods we both liked. I remarked that I like brick homes. He likes stone. Ok…Stone home with a little dog and a security system works for me. I sure love the way we compromise.

This can definitely work.

Big Love

On November 14, 2007, I wrote a blog about my fantasy man from Hoboken, whom I affectionately call, Mr. Big. Yes, like Carrie’s love on Sex and the City, I have my very own Mr. Big. I had not seen him around town in probably 7 months, however, call it destiny or call it fate, we ran into each other on the Path Train not too long ago.

Here is the story. I had just returned from a NY Social Sports Club Whiffle Ball League happy hour on the Lower East Side (my new approach to socialization) and picked up the Path train home at the 9th Street Station. Alone I stood on the train when suddenly at the Christopher Street stop, the path doors opened and there he was, entering through the doors like…like the great Italian stallion that he is. I could almost hear the theme from Rocky playing in the background. He was wearing his black fitted business suit, with his starched dress collar shirt unbuttoned. My jaw slightly dropped until our eyes met, immediately an explosion of simultaneous smiles of delightful recognition. We both enthusiastically said, “Hey” as I walked towards him. He repeatedly asked me how I’ve been and what’s new in my life. He was so excited to see me and, of course, I was beside myself!

Since Big is a big time NY real estate broker I got the nerve up to ask him if he knew of any inexpensive studio apartments for rent in Manhattan. While discussing safe NYC neighborhoods for single girls, he reached in his pocket for a business card and I immediately stopped him declaring, “Oh, I still have your card” (which he had given me long ago during one of our conversations at the spa). Quite impressed with that he told me to email him tomorrow and he would send me some affordable listings. Big told me he had recently come back from a week of vacation at his Florida condo. He mentioned he’d spent the week alone. We got off the path and began walking home together. I knew he would be coming my way since I live only a couple blocks from him (yes, I had checked his spa record long ago). As always, we were totally comfortable in our conversation, laughing at each other’s comments and jokes. It was so good to see him again. What a man! About halfway home, he said he was stopping for dinner at the Brass Rail so we stopped and finished our conversation then hesitantly said goodbye with a handshake. Again, I walked away thinking, why doesn’t this man just go ahead and ask me to dinner.

The next day I did what he asked and emailed him a cute note telling him how nice it was to run into him the night before and how I was writing to remind him about the listings. I added my phone number to the bottom of the email.

Within a few minutes, he wrote me back telling me he would be sending me the listings in a couple days. Then finally, he made his move…He told me he wanted to ask me to go to dinner last night but thought I seemed like I was in a hurry to get home…And then he invited me to meet him for a drink that evening.

I wrote back…(that is after I spent 5 minutes jumping up and down with my girlfriend in the next cubicle). I reminded him that I was going home to South Jersey, but suggested we meet Monday night instead. He agreed…and told me he would block the entire evening for me and how he really looked forward to seeing me again. And the rest is history…

Evidently, this was a case of a very stunning man who would leave the spa thinking, “What a great girl…she has to have a boyfriend, I can’t ask her out”. This was all around the time I wrote the blog about him and how he would be so close to asking me to dinner, but didn’t. The truth is he went home that night after spending his dinner eating alone, went to bed, woke up the next day, thought about me and realized what a jackass he’d been not asking me to join him for dinner. He said he felt he blew his chances with me and that would be the last time we would see each other. He believes fate brought us together again to meet on that train giving him one more chance not to blow the opportunity to ask me out. It goes to show even when you think your flirtations are obvious, a man…a man who totally appears to have it all, can be a bit nervous and insecure in taking that first step in asking a woman out.

So far, things are moving very quickly. Big is incredibly romantic, loving, funny, smart, generous and did I say romantic? He does everything right. From the sweetest text messages throughout my day to his “little kid in a candy store” expression when he looks at me and says “I’m so happy!” to his tender and heartfelt, “I’m falling in love with you”.

My blogs have always been about my misfortunes. Now, they will change. They won’t be about surviving singleness but about having love in your life. Little Tara, happy at last!

P.S. Oh, and as for moving to Manhattan, no need for those listings now.